This poem was written in 1979, inspired by a letter to my close friend Tom (now Robbie) Robinson and his reply to me.
For a little deeper background ... at the time, North Carolina had just passed liquor-by-the-drink legislation, I had taken a bartending course soon after and got a job at night at as "Bar Manager" at The Leprechaun Lounge at The Downtowner Inn in Durham, NC, where on the first day of the job I sold the first legal mixed drink ever sold in Durham County ... my friend Tom was in the Navy, had a special security clearance that only 25 enlisted people in all Service Branches held at that time, and was in training for a secret mission I thought he was BS'ing about because he was always very vague about the purpose of his training, until the rescue attempt some months later of the hostages in Iran, where Tom was to have been in the first landing craft to actually invade Iran should the rescue team have encountered Iranian ground forces instead of the helicopters' air filters clogging up from desert dust and the mission being abandoned, a plan which still hasn't come out publicly yet all these years later ... anyway ...
Though unpublished, I put this poem in a copyrighted collection of works in 1981, Loose Ends, Tight Beginnings, and is ©1981.
Most of those who know the body of my unpublished work consider this to be the best of my unpublished poems. A couple of editors in times past have threatened it with publication in the mass-market media, but in the end they didn't because of its "adult language", which to me is a hilarious reason, because now your hear worse language in prime-time TV. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it, and feedback is always welcomed.
Summer Letters Between Best Friends
by
H. Kent Craig
Dear Tom got your last letter yesterday
your rock song cries that it's country
except the chorus which is 60's repetition
I finished my bartending course
breaking a new plateau
ten drinks in 5 minutes 14-1/2 seconds (flying lizards!)
Gene is nearly bankrupt
his Board Of Directors mutinied
and threw him off the ranch
he closed his treasure hunters' school
the Houstons (who nearly screwed me)
totally screwed him
(I imagine myself urinating on their faces)
Gene's main partner went loco
killed someone on the ranch
and Gene didn't know about it until his arrest
typical summer, heh, Tom?
heard from Gary
his Rogue Safari Co.Ltd. is off the ground
why does every PI chick
have a weird name like Hee Ae?
Dear Kent this is your old campadre
Thomas B. Robinstein speaking at you boy
I've written a country song for you
'better give it good reviews
was written one fine morning
upon waiting for the phony invasion
on the largest military base in the world
it was fun wasting people again
but I hate going that long
without showers or my guitars
'wasted a bunch of grunts
but then got an automatic burst
across my chest from a '16
so I told the jerk he was
"An American Pig" and that
"Johnny Carson Was A Fag"
and that "His Mother Sucked Cocks In Hell"
then I put about 15 rounds of NATO Ball Ammo
up his dumb ass
then I split down the ridge
to kill and main the other American Imperialists
all in all
I burnt only five banana clips
hope your summer has been as ridiculous as mine
take it easy
ball Cathy for me regularly
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