First Review Of Hog Heaven Bar-B-Q 2419 Guess Road Durham, NC By H. Kent Craig This Is The Initial Review, Written In February Of 2005

Very seldom if ever do I post a review of a barbecue place I've tried only once, even a dogfood-equivalent place like Allen & Son BBQ in Chapel Hill, I'll usually go back at least another time or two to make sure it wasn't just a fluke that the food was as bad as I thought it actually was, but in the case of Hog Heaven Bar-B-Q in Durham N.C., I'm making an exception.

My lunch companion for the day, Russell Smith who is senior project manager with nearby Starr Electric in Durham N.C., accidentally wound up going there and it was not a happy accident.

Russell had been a loyal reader and fan of my writings for Contractor magazine for some years and his office being less than a country mile from Bullock's BBQ which is one of my Top Three Eastern-NC-Style-BBQ places of all time, of course we had planned to eat at Bullock's (which he had never been to, BTW) but me bad, I had forgotten that Bullock's doesn't open until 11:30AM and we had planned on meeting there at 11:00AM on the dot · which we did.

Faced with mutual pressing schedules for the rest of the day, we talked for a minute about waiting until Bullock's opened in half an hour or, as by chance I had received an email from the owner of Hog Heaven the previous week bragging on his barbeque and encouraging me to stop by and try his pork-fare, go try "this new place to me, Hog Heaven over on Guess Rd.", which we ended up doing.

First, the positives.

Plenty of parking in and near the front of the establishment, it being located in a small strip shopping center. The interior was roomy, lots of space, relatively between the tables, you're not so packed close-in to other tables that you can hear your dining neighbor's conversation. According to Russell, clean bathrooms for a typical barbecue joints. Friendly staff that serves you with many smiles. And yes, I had been encouraged by a sign in the front window that said "Voted Best Barbecue Joint In The Triangle In 2004 By The Readers Of Spectator Magazine". Don't believe everything you read.

Now, the negatives.

The barbecue!

I don't know exactly what I was served the other day, but it certainly wasn't Eastern-NC-Style slow-pit-cooked pork barbecue. The best way I can describe it was the meat was more similar to a thick, tough porkchop, not even a pork tenderloin, which someone had very lazily taken a meat cleaver to chop it up a little bit but not a whole lot. The pieces of meat, and I honestly do hesitate to call what was served to me "barbeque", were so dry that even extended chewing didn't soften them up and make them safe to swallow without fear of choking, were so dry that you could tell not a single drop of even the most basic vinegar-water-salt-pepper sauce had been applied to the meat during and after cooking, and was so tough that when combined with their dryness I honestly about stopped before halfway getting through my smallish, less than half a pound of meat for the so-called Bar-B-Q dinner, closer to five to six ounce of meat for $6.75 including two sides. I could continue to slam their barbecue with more negative observations but you get the idea: this is not good barbecue!

One of the two side dishes I ordered, their Brunswick Stew, was acceptable but not great and the staff was pleasant and friendly and didn't hassle me when I asked to sample a small spoonful before ordering it because I needed to see if I was allergic to any of its ingredients (I wasn't). They admitted to me that they-themselves didn't make the Brunswick Stew on-premsises, bought it from another source, I didn't ask if it came out of a can or not, wasn't important to me where it came from as long as I wasn't allergic to its ingredients. The other side dish I ordered, their "granny potatoes"/boiled potatoes, were okay, tasted like they had come out of a Delmonte can but were okay.

I seriously considered giving Hog Heaven the dreaded (to the establishment) 1-Pig rating, but when I talked with friend and dining companion for that day Russell Smith a couple of days later about our experience there and told him what I was going to say in this review and was considering giving them a One-Pig rating, he said that to him their barbecue while definitely dry and chunky and tough and not the best he had ever had for sure, he still didn't think it was all "that bad", thought I should be a little less harsh in my criticism of them and give the place a 2-Pig rating, since to him it was truly "average" and he has eaten a lot of Eastern-NC-Style BBQ too, so I'm shading this review while still being completely honest to the side of kindness and giving it a 2-Pig placement.

Like he said to me: "Kent, you should only give a barbecue joint a 1-Pig-Godawful-Wouldn't-Feed-It-To-Your-Dog-rating if it was as bad or worse than Allen & Son Barbeque in nearby Chapel Hill, N.C."

Point taken, Russell, point taken . . . since, Lord help us all if it was, since Hog Heaven's tough and almost un-chewable cook porkflesh wasn't as bad as Allen & Son, then Hog Heaven gets a Two-Piggy rating. Fair enough?



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