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If you think you remember doing...
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...then you probably actually did, instead:
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Seeing the Beatles in concert at Shea Stadium
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Saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show
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(for males, age 10-13 at the time)
Getting laid
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Found your father's stash of Playboys,
and had one helluva wild dreamy night afterwards
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Seeing Jimi Hendrix in concert
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Got really stoned one night and listened to some old Hendrix records
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(for females, age 10-13 at the time)
Getting laid
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Actually got laid
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Remember being at Woodstock
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Unless you were an infant attending with your parents, yeah, right
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(for males, age 13-15 at the time)
Getting laid
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Got to second base with your best friend's sister
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Openly smoking a joint, flaunting it in public at a "David Bowie As Ziggy Stardust" concert
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Smoked a joint with two other super-paranoid scared-to-death-friends also in the closed stall of a restroom at the stadium where you were seeing "Kansas" in concert
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(for females, age 13-15 at the time)
Getting laid
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Actually got laid
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(for males, age 15-18 at the time)
Having your first FMF threesome at the secluded partying spot that only you and your friends knew about, way out in the countryside
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Accidentally, actually had a MMM threesome instead, but were too drunk and/or stoned and/or embarrassed to accurately remember it that way
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(for males, age 15-18 at the time)
Beating up three guys who made lewd remarks to your date outside the theater after a "Rocky Horror" midnight showing
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Sneakily gave your wallet and watch to three guys who whispered to you that they were going to beat you up and embarrass you in front of your girlfriend, if you didn't slip them what they wanted
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For a several week period, daily took Quaaludes in the morning for breakfast, and a Purple Microdot for supper's dessert
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Chased one Quaalude down with half a bottle of Jack Daniel's one boring Saturday afternoon, and got so freaked out by the experience that resulted that it took a month for you to recover from it
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(for females, age 15-18 at the time)
Going on a blind date with the most handsome man you've ever seen, him driving you to your first 4-star restaurant for the date, and passionately making out with him for an hour in his Mercedes in the restaurant's parking lot before taking you home
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Went out with your best friend's cousin Millie's 29-year-old brother, who took you to some dive biker bar that served steaks cooked on a grille that smelled like they never cleaned it, and whose arm you almost had to try to break to keep him from continually trying to shove his hand down your pants while he tried to get fresh with you at the dive's back parking lot inside his ten-year-old Karman Ghia
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If you think you remember doing...
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...then you probably actually did, instead:
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(for males, age 18-21 at the time)
Getting laid, and the experience lasting four hours
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Finally got laid, but it was 3 hours and 56 minutes of half-stoned foreplay, followed by 4 minutes of actual intercourse
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Openly snorted a couple of hundred of dollars' worth of cocaine, flaunting it in public at a BeeGee's concert
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Actually, it was just talcum powder and you knew it, but you told everyone it was cocaine, just to impress them, remember?
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(for females, age 15-18 at the time)
Getting laid
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Might not have actually gotten laid while half-stoned/half-drunk that night, but remembered the memory as such, because it was the only logical explanation of waking up stark naked in someone's bed you didn't know with your panties hanging off one ankle and your bra and other clothes scattered throughout his place
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Seeing the Rolling Stones in concert, before Mick Jagger died
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Jagger isn't dead yet, he just looks that way; this might be a real memory, call an old friend from that time to check
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Remember spending the summer hitchhiking across Europe with your best friend
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Hitchhiked back to your hometown from NYC after you and a friend scrounged up your last money to take a one-way busride there, just to try to get into Studio 54, where the doorman kept you and friend waiting in the cold rain for six hours
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(for females, age 18-21 at the time)
Getting laid, in your first FMF threesome
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This actually happened and you remember full well it did, but you can't and won't ever admit it to your husband now, for fear of opening that can of smelly worms
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Remember getting so stoned off a combination of Maui Wowwie, Seagram's, and some very, very bad acid that you floated down a raging river sans lifejacket, just for the hell of it
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Got so stoned off a combination of Maui Wowwie, Seagram's, and some very, very bad acid that you fell into a rain-swollen drainage ditch at your parent's house and passed out in same, nearly drowning before your father saw you lying prone there and saved your skinny behind, grounding you for a month for being so wasted
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(for males, age 21-25 at the time)
Getting laid at your very first real orgy, which took place late one Saturday night in the backroom of some dingy disco in your hometown, having sex with more women than you could count or can remember
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Watched other people get laid at their orgy, which they wouldn't let you openly participate in because you didn't have a date to share with them
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Helped found one of the very first software companies for personal computers, way back in 1978 or 1979
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Loaned a buddy $1,000 to help him buy one of the very first IMSAI "chips-in-a-box" machines sans keyboard monitor etc., the money you obtained by forging your parents' signatures on a card at the bank to raid your college fund, the deal being he was going to cut you in for half, once personal computers became all the rage.
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(for females, age 21-25 at the time)
Getting laid, at your first orgy
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Your boyfriend at the time wanted to try swinging, so he bought some magazines and you wound up going to a swing party with him, but everyone there was missing teeth and embracing the concept of enhanced non-weekly-bathing, so you nagged him into leaving before anything could happen
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Remember the end of the Disco Lifestyle
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Why do you care, why are you wasting the synaptic space you need for other things now, like remembering to zip up your fly?
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