Top 13 Things That Cleanroom Designers / Contractors / Technicians Simply Quiver With Delight When They Hear Them

by
H. Kent Craig


  1. We did our homework, got some mfg.'s catalogs and such . . . with the price of HEPA filters and all being so cheap, we figure you should be able to quote us a Class 100 cleanroom for, say, $100 a sq.ft.
  2. How the hell do we expect employees to be productive if they have to un-and-re-dress in bunnysuits from the positive pressure vestibule on egress and ingress every time they have to take a piss? You're going to design a wet-plumbed unisex working bathroom for one corner of my new Class 10 cleanroom, or I'll find a design/build contractor who will.
  3. These are my two kids, Jamie age 6 and Josh age 7....I know you've just gotten through certifying my Class 10 cleanroom, and I know that you don't have any bunnysuits their size, but hey, since I bought and paid for this, couldn't you let them inside it for just a minute so they could look around?
  4. I don't care what the FDA mandates for validation of cGMP in cleanspaces, I'm telling you what I want, and you'll do as I say, and no, there won't be a change order or anything written down about it.
  5. My cleanroom is to be as much about marketing to new potential clients as it is producing product in cleanspace...therefor, I want lots of bells and whistles, lot of neat display light panels, lots of high-tech-looking equipment and lots more pretty runs of stainless-steel piping, even if they're just for show.
  6. Physics, smysics, I'm paying you for cost-effective solutions, not to stand there and argue with me that we need all that new cooling capacity you say we now need that we didn't need before the space was designated cleanspace.
  7. Factory Mutual be damned, I'm telling you that for technician comfort, I want a horizontal push supply, not vertical updraught exhaust, across that biohazard wetbench!
  8. What do you mean, that we can't re-use that 20-year-old dropped ceiling as part of the new cleanroom? I want you to re-use it and save me some money!
  9. As part of the specs, you'll have to assume all liability for product failure or eventual non-compliance, should our own maintenance people fail to properly maintain the HEPA's once the warranty period expires, in perpetuity, at no additional charge.
  10. I really don't understand all this cleanroom stuff. Why can't we just have a regular cleaning crew do a real "G.I." cleaning of the area every night, instead of spending all this money to create a so-called cleanroom?
  11. I thought this cleanroom could filter out everything down to .03 microns with complete air changes every two minutes...with that kind of capacity, I don't understand why a designated smoking area like in a corner of a restaurant would be that big of a deal?!?
  12. I want you do duplicate the same kind of high-tech cleanroom architecture that was in "The Andromeda Strain".
  13. Just for my own amusement, by in-house procedural mandate, I want employees to have to totally strip naked in the garment changing area, and I want a video camera hidden up in the ceiling where I can watch them, especially the female ones, without being detected.


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