Local Rules For Playing Tennis In Urban Playground Park Settings


As Authored & Sanctioned By
USUCTA (The United States Urban Colloquial Tennis Association)

by
H. Kent Craig



  1. To keep from accidentally being "capped" for mistaken gang associations, tennis balls may be color-dyed colors other than the USTA-approved yellow, white, or orange ones.
  2. If a basketball from an on-going game next to the tennis court comes into play during the point and a tennis ball in flight hits it, the basketball is to be considering part of the tennis court, and shall be played as such.
  3. Any ball accidentally or on purpose hit over the fence into the high-weeded, "Junkie's Shooting Park" ravine area above the drainage creek at the perimeter of the park shall be replaced with one from the supply of the player hitting it such, and retrieval of said ball shall not be attempted.
    The exception to this rule is if the player so hitting it is serving, then the person receiving said serve may scrounge up a used, more fluffy-covered ball, at their option.
  4. If a or both player(s) is/are the victim(s) of forced, armed robbery during a match, at which point they lose possession of their racket(s) and equipment, the match shall be declared void, and for official purposes declared a tie.
  5. If a player during match play, however, surrenders voluntarily, or otherwise surrenders possession of his racket and equipment for anything other than threat of grievous bodily harm, such as for payment of past-due debts of any kind, or to purchase whatever other items, then that player shall be declared in default, and the opponent declared the winner.
  6. If lead beings to fly in the adjacent areas around the court or crossing into the court area itself during play, if a point is in progress at that moment, then play shall be momentarily suspended as both players flatten out on the court for their own respective safety, and after waiting a minimum of sixty seconds for the air above the court to clear of flying bullets, the point in question shall be replayed with due dispatch as a let.
    If suspension of play because of active gunfire is longer than five minutes but less than fifteen, then both players by mutual agreement may take five minutes off-game to warm back up before resuming play. If suspension of play because of said gangwarfare lasts longer than fifteen minutes, then the match shall be declared void.
  7. If play is interrupted by a basketball or handball or other similar nearby participant in an adjacent but different sport court coming into the tennis court during an active point by force of their momentum caused during their own play, then the point is declared null, and shall be replayed.
    If said interrupting player also accidentally touches, tackles, or flattens either tennis player, then a recovery time of five minutes is declared. If said tackled tennis player can not continue because of declared injury after five minutes, then the match is declared void, and officially is recorded as a tie. The exception to this is if the player knocked down/out by the imposition of action from the outside agent happens to be a friend or acquaintance of said player so injured, then the match officially forfeits as a win to the opposing player.
  8. If the game is to be a stakes match, before beginning play both players shall be in agreement on a person who will serve as letcord and linejudge umpire and referee for the match. If no such trusted person can be easily found, then it is suggested that the players approach the skinny, short-haired white guy who never does anything but hang around and shoot hoops and who is obviously a narc, to serve as umpire, depending on his basic honest character as a policeman to insure fairness of calls.
  9. Use of a pitbull or similar guarddog to watch over a player's equipment bag is permitted only if said dog is tied to a fixed object outside the immediate court-play area, as defined as a perimeter extending a minimum of 10' from the alleys and baselines in all directions.
  10. If the net has been stolen again before play commences, then improvisation may be permitted, if agreed upon by both players. If a line of two-three-four winos is used in place of the net, then said winos shall lie perfectly still, and not wave their arms to interfere with ballflight during play, such interference being cause to replay a point. If no winos are available, then any line of inanimate objects are permitted, such as old cardboard boxes, old furniture, etc., provided such objects do not extend more than 18" from the center of either side of the netline into the court area.
  11. If Bill Cosby and his entourage shows up at the park to play, players currently in engaged in gameplay shall relinquish their temporary possession of the court to His Funniness.
  12. If playing after dusk, wearing of flakjackets or similar bulletproof vests during play is permitted. If one or both players are wearing said, because of the increase in restriction of free-flowing arm movement during a typical service toss and strike, the number of permissible service faults before a pointforfeit is declared shall increase from two to three.
  13. Wearing of track shoes or other non-standard, non-USTA approved footwear, worn for the purpose of anticipation of a possible hasty retreat from problems caused by outside agents during gameplay, is permitted.
  14. Delay of game problems caused by a massive, "up against the wall and spread 'em" group police frisk and confront situation for all those on the playground; see Local Rule # 6 above for application of delay of game parameters.
  15. All small arms carried by players in their equipment bags shall be tastefully and tactfully concealed as much as possible, while still allowing quick access for purposes of self-defense.
  16. Showing of a lack of proper sportsmanship by use of profane language during matchplay is strongly discouraged.
  17. Use of an any electronic or similar device that is made and used for the expressed purpose of simulating the noise of gunfire or similar, when used during play to distract an opponent, shall result in forfeiture of the match by the person using it.
  18. If before beginning play it is noticed that a small area on one side of the court has suffered surface damage from stray gunfire or similar outside forces, then the local ganglord shall be recruited to "cap" a similarly-sized place in a similar location on the opposite side of the court with small-arms fire, to insure that the playing field on both sides of the net are equal.
  19. If your opponent is arrested for any reason by proper law enforcement authorities during the match, then you are automatically awarded the win. However, if your opponent is later acquited of those charges brought against him that resulted in his coincidental arrest during the match, he may petition USUCTA to declare the match, for the record, an official draw.

    Addenda

  20. Any tree greater than 2" in trunk diameter as measured 12" from the surface of the court that has grown up in the playing area of the court shall be deemed to part of the natural and proper playing surface of the court. Any tree less than 2" in trunk diameter may be pulled up and removed from the court area, at the option of the players, provided a similar fouled area nonconducive to proper ball bounce is dug out at a similar location on the opposite side of the court.

    If such a tree is considered to be part of the court proper, then in the interest of fairness:

  21. In instances where the local urban tennis court complex is built over a "brownfields" area, where large amounts of industrial toxins where dumped in years past and left to ferment in the ground in the name of economic expediency, before the City was given a "brownfields" waiver so they could build the tennis courts atop the area of contaiminated soil, certain allowances for local circumstances shall be made:

    * Submitted by USUCTA Rules Official John Bellocchio, passed unimously by the Rules Committee 7-4-99


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Do you currently play tennis in an urban park or playground setting? Do you play by any other local rules which you feel need to be included in USUCTA's list above? Then please   email  them to me, and I'll be happy to include them in the addendum above, and give you authorship credit, or not, as you prefer...~~~Kent



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