CONTRACTOR'S STANDARD PIPE & FITTING SPECIFICATION
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by
metal concentric with hole. If pipe is not made of a long hole, then it may
used in dry pipe sprinkler systems.
2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout its entire length.
If not, it may be reused as rifle barrels or artillery
tubes for our Armed Forces.
3. All pipe is to be of the very best quality, perfectly
tubular or close enough.
4. All acid-proof pipe is to be made of acid-proof
metal.
5. O.D. of all pipe must exceed the I.D. otherwise the hole
will be on the outside.
6. All pipe is to be supplied without rust, as it can be
more readily put in an oxided state after the warranty runs
out.
7. All pipe is to supplied free of any covering such as
mud, tar , or any other natural sunscreen. If UV protection
for pipe is needed, use at least an SPF 30 lotion.
8. All pipe over 500 feet long must have words "LONG PIPE"
clearly painted on each end so fitter will know that it is
a long pipe.
9. Pipe over 2 miles long must also have the words "Long
Pipe" painted in the middle so that the fitter will not
have to walk the full length of the pipe to determine if it
is a long pipe.
10. All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the
words "LARGE PIPE" painted on it, so the fitter will not
use it for a small pipe.
11. All pipe closers are to be open on one end.
12. All pipe fittings are to be made of the same stuff as
the pipe or close enough.
13. No fittings are to be put on pipe unless specified. If
you do so straight pipe becomes crooked pipe.
14. Fittings come in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Be sure
to specify the proper mated material, to achieve
reproduceable results from the riser diagrams.
15. Fittings come bolted, welded or screwed. Always use
screwed, they are more fun to install.
16. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have
holes for bolts.
17. If flanges are to be blank or blind, the big hole in
the middle must be filled.
18. Gaskets are to be used to fill the space between
flanges.
19. Gaskets are to be made of metal, rubber, plastic, paper
or some kind of goop...Do not use cow or sheep manure, it
cracks when it dries.
20. All piping must be installed with valves.
21. All valves must have an opening on each end with a
flapper in the way of the flow .
22. Valves are to be furnished by the kind required as
follows:
-
Ball valves have a ball inside.
-
Gate valves have a gate inside.
-
Globe valves have a globe inside.
-
Check valves have a check inside.
-
Angle valves have an angle inside.
-
Plug valves have a plug inside.
-
Diaphragm valves have a diaphragm inside.
23. Ball valves are to be used with male fittings only.
24. Diaphragm valves are to be used with female fittings
only.
25. All completed piping lines must go somewhere and
connect to something.
The fitter is required to verify this before turnover.
{Back To Humor Page}
{To Personal Page}
{Feedback}