Top 14 Funny Sayings Found Taped To The Cubicle Walls Of Classified Military System Designers

by
H. Kent Craig



  1. Is that a prototype of the wearable CIS computer I designed in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  2. Kelly Johnson, Cap Weinberger, Robert McNamara, Will Bill Donovan, Bobby Ray Inman: El Supremo Babe Magnets
  3. Yes, I can tell you what I'm working on, but then I'd have to kill you by boring you to death with all the minutiae of details about it.
  4. Project Aurora: since it never existed, we don't have to invent it.
  5. No, you didn't see what you thought you saw on my monitor screen...now, scoot!
  6. Always remember:
    Loose lips
    Give great BJ's
  7. Friends don't let friends work for the NSA
  8. Caution: wired, armed-with-M16's, fully-attituded with orders to shoot to kill grunts barreling down hallways with live ammo locked and loaded during security drills can be hazardous to your health.
  9. Caution: if activated by irritation of being asked dumb questions, operator will automatically release nauseous flatulence-based countermeasures.
  10. Classified Mil-Std 825.25.98.Alpha.33.712.394.Zed.2: The New White Meat
  11. The Cold War: rampant paranoia, military contractor corporate socialism on a grand scale, covert military control of civilian foreign policy, massive violations of the privacy rights of millions of Americans in the name of national security, covert Nazi-like experiments on unsuspecting American civilians, wholesale lying-through-teeth about the strength and capabilities of America's enemies to Congress and the public, poisoning of the environment via nuclear and chemical and biological weapons detritus, running stables of high-class hookers to trap spies and to keep our own generals happy, offing the odd American citizen who found out certain things and then went public with it, massive public disinformation propaganda campaigns directed at the America public. In other words, "the good ol' days".
  12. If you want it done yesterday, then authorize me another million dollars.
  13. "Smart" weapons can only be as intelligent as the 18-year-old corporals that build 'em, use 'em, and break 'em.
  14. Don't ask me why they call it "military 'intelligence' ".



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